Saturday, May 19, 2007

Bittersweet

and I ain't talkin' chocolate, though I could use about 5 pounds of it right now. Today I have experienced the extremes of my personality and it wasn't fun.


The day started off with me screaming at the kids a lot because they weren't picking up and putting away their stuff and we were running out of time. Then I FINALLY get a shower and grandparents show up while I'm trying to paint my face. They all make a comment, seperately, as they came in about how nice the house looked, and not to me, they didn't know I could hear them. That made all the hard work worth while so I felt relief.


Everyone comes, eats yummy sloppy joes in shifts and we do the cakes, which the birthday kids frosted all by themselves,

ice cream and gifts. (Blue Moon ice cream teeth LOL)
Right before I go to work early to get this photo printed up I decided to check my email. My most favorite teacher I have ever had, Mr. David Thomas from WCC, emailed me to tell me he's retiring September 1st. Ok, now I'm down right sad as hell. I consider him my mentor. He always made me feel inspired and capable. I am so truly blessed to have had him as a teacher, there is no doubt about it. It's because of him and his class that I decided to teach earth science. It was an experience in his class that made me realize that I don't want to teach elementary, but older kids. *sigh* now I'm totally bummed again.
Then I go to work and feel total embarrassment about the photo. Do not ask why, I just did. I went on break and there was no one in the break room and all of a sudden I started crying. Finally I cry, but why did it have to be at work? Why did it have to happen tonight when I've had other opportunities that were better? PMS of course and I'm glad that something is finally coming to the surface that I've not disassociated from but work is a rough place to break down.
I'm now going to go wash my face and get dressed for bed, then I'm going to come back out here and drink some more wine and listen to my MP3 player. Maybe I will be able to cry again beacause my soul needs to be cleansed more. Night Peeps.

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4 Comments:

At 1:50 AM, Blogger Scattered Gemini said...

Aww, Kitty-Kat-Kat...sorry you're having a bummer of a day. Ups and downs i'd say. Hang on tight and know that there are those of us who are sending you some good energy.

Is it possible to still maintain a friendship with your former teacher? He doesn't really need to be in front of a class for him to be a mentor and for you to be able to learn from him. See if you can have him over for dinner or meet for coffee? Keep the friendship alive. Just a thought.

 
At 4:13 PM, Anonymous meg said...

I really like that picture! I understand that feeling, though, all self-consious & embarrassed about something, for whatever reason or none (doesn't have to be a reason, does there?) - so much fun being a girl sometimes, eh? I think it's a good idea to have pictures of yourself. When we're kids, there are lots, but as adults, noone seems to care. Gotta care for ourselves, too, I think. That "love others as you love yourself" thing doesn't mean much if you're not loving yourself.

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger Teyla said...

Hey sunshine!!

I agree with both suz and meg. You can still keep him as a close friend and mentor. That doesn't have to change because he is retiring. Yes we all understand about feeling embarrassed about ourselves in one form or another. Enjoy your life regardless.

 
At 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I second Meg's thoughts on the picture... I happen to adore a good self portrait, since they are few and far between!
-Holly

 

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