This song/lyrics says it all right now.

It has profanity in it, just a heads up.

"Diluted" by Slipknot

I'm cold, I'm ugly
I'm always confused by everything
I can stare into a thousand eyes
But every smile hides a bold-faced lie

It itches, it seethes, it festers and breathes
My heros are dead, they died in my head
Thin out the herd, squeeze out the pain
Something inside me has opened up again

Thoughts of me exemplified
All the little flaws I have denied
Forget today, forget whatever happened
Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies
I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe

What the hell - did I - do to deserve - all of this?

I save all the bullets from ignorant minds
Your insults get stuck in my teeth as they grind
Way past good taste, on our way to bad omens
I decrease, while my symptoms increase

God what the fuck is wrong
You act like you knew it all along
Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing

All I ever wanted out of you was
Something you could never be
Now take a real good look at
What you've fucking done to me

What the hell - did I - do to deserve - all of this?

Gimme any reason why I'd need you, boy
Gimme any reason not to fuck you up
Gimme any reason why I'd need you, bitch
Gimme any reason not to fuck you up

I see you in me I keep my scars from prying eyes
Incapable of ever knowing why
Somebody breathe, I've got to have an answer

Why am I so fascinated by
Bigger pictures, better things
But I don't care what you think
You'll never understand me

What the hell - did I - do to deserve - all of this?

Fuck!